READY-TO- USE PARENTING ACTIVITIES & LESSONS TO USE WITH CHILDREN & TEENS

• It made me realize how time consuming and difficult it was to care for an infant, especially when you are not feeling well. The "baby" made me realize that I do not want children until I am financially, physically, and mentally ready.
• My mother laughed at me this morning, I had bags under my eyes. (after being up so often with the "baby")
• My friends that come from a bad situation at home, a lot of them have been beat, sexually, stuff like that. And they don't get a lot of love, and they think that by having a kid. . .it would improve their home life or their situation. . . I think they might change their mind if they had to take care of this "baby" for. . .maybe more than two weeks.
• Everything you do revolves around the "baby." It looks a lot simpler than it is. It's hard work to have children. I thought it was all easy and stuff, but now that I've taken care of one, it's really hard. When you see little kids you say, "OH, they're so cute." But after taking care of them, they're not that cute anymore.

• I know that if I would have had the opportunity to care for one of these (infant simulators), I probably wouldn't have had my son at age 16. If I have a daughter, I will be sure she'll have one of these, to break the cycle of teen pregnancies which got started in our family.
• I think it has deterred (my daughter) from having a baby too young -- it was a real eye-opener for her.
• The "baby" is a great idea for kids. (My daughter) really enjoys babysitting. She likes kids and tends to be very patient with them, and when she's with them she really pays a lot of attention to them. But when it came to full-time responsibility for taking care of a baby for 24 hours a day, she was not ready for that.
• . . .I really think it shows them what's behind actually having your own baby. A lot of getting up and staying up. It's not all fun and games like they think, "Oh, they're so cute." They are cute, but there's a lot of work. . . . It really shows them what they really have to do.
• . . . every high school person should have to do this, at least once. . . . I think particularly the boys ought to have to do it. . . they get all the fun, and they don't have any of the responsibility. . . .They might take another thought about their actions.

Teachers:

• In 23 years of teaching I have never had a more positive response or a keener interest in any project that I have done with the students.
• Since I have implemented the Baby Think It Over Program® as a required project in my Parenting Class, teenage pregnancy has dropped in our school by over 50%! I wish that it was required for all students instead of being an elective.
• I am a very popular speaker right now. . . it was easy to get the community to donate approximately $1800 toward babies & equipment. My child development classes have increased by 3 classes this year.
• This is a fun project, but it has a serious purpose. By learning the responsibilities of parenthood today, the student may become a better prepared and informed parent in the future.
• It works well - everyone wants to take 'em (the infant simulators) home -- but nobody wants to keep 'em!
• . . . when I started teaching high school, over 15 years ago, I had sometimes a senior or a junior with a child. Now I'm finding ninth graders with six and seven month old babies already, and that's a concern to me. I think if one student has an experience like this, realizes the responsibility, and decides to wait to become pregnant. . . it's worth doing in my classes.

• I learned about life, about family, about myself, about children-how they develop-and how to make them the best they can be.
• I learned that children aren't always capable of what's expected of them, and they are not necessarily trying to go against you. Most important, I learned that having children is a big deal! I don't think I will never consider bringing a life to this earth until I am ready!
• Raising children is a lot of work and I want to have the time that a child needs to grow up in a healthy environment.
• It's interesting to know that what is done to a child at an early age will influence their lives forever.
• I learned not to punish your child by hitting. I wanted to learn how to discipline a child by not hitting them. I know what it feels like to be hit and everytime I was hit as a child I disliked the person who hit me. I would always ask myself 'why couldn't they just talk to me and make me understand.' I still have love for them but I'll never forget the fact that they hit me.
• I learned that using language to express your feelings teaches the child to do the same. This is very important for good communication between parent and child throughout life.
• The most important thing that I learned is that in order to be a great parent, not a good one, that PATIENCE is essential.
• I used to think that taking care of a baby came from natural instinct, but it isn't. It's hard work.
• If you want to have a child you have to be financially stable.
• To really know your child, your family, even friends, you have to understand yourself.
• I've learned to be patient with smaller children and to show them support. To love and take care and protect your child. I can't really tell you how much this class made me a better person.
• As I was learning about child development I was understanding why my parents are the way they are.
• My relationships with my sisters as well as my grandmother have really improved since I now know a little more about the feelings of kids and what parents go through.

Teachers:

• We discussed dating and making proper choices for partners. Abuse is a problem among this group. Many had experienced it at home and we desperately wanted to break this cycle as they formed their own relationships. The biggest obstacle was that they did not even realize that they had been abused.
• I teach a parenting class and I am convinced that every young person needs parenting skills. It should not only be offered to pregnant girls and those who already have children; all schools should offer parenting classes if educators really hope to impact positively on future generations.
• I find the class to be thoroughly successful and a total necessity in our school. I deal with not only pregnant and parenting students but students with high risk behavior. The only way to reach the high risk group is through the parenting class.

• My best friend has a sister who is sixteen and just had a baby. Her baby's really cute. But then Christina and her mom visited our class. Christina's mom is old, and she told us that she loved Christina but it was hard work to take good good care of her. Christina's mom works really hard and her work is never done. I am going to wait for a long time before I have a baby. I need to care about myself, my family, and get a good education first.
• Sometimes I hear parents hitting their kids at night on my block. My mom and dad don't do that but some do. I told my mom and dad about Joel and Ty coming to my class. They really liked it. It's not right to hurt a child. And parents need to know that they should not play with guns, matches, knives, drugs, or leave on hot things like irons. Kids and babies need to be safe and you need to always love them.
• I learned so many things in ECP this year. I've learned that babies are a big responsibility. Kids also go through many changes and learn many things in the first few years of their life. I have also learned that everyone has differences and many needs.
• It isn't just love. It is learning the experience of a parent. It is learning how to deal with the discipline you don't want to give. You have to learn how to respond to the cries.

Parents:

• I am a scientist and was very impressed with the analytical skills being taught in the ECP program. It's impossible for kids to see what their own parents do within the family. This program gives them an objective look at what's involved in taking care of a child. Planning the questions they would ask, the things they wanted to observe, measuring the baby's growth, and comparing and discussing what they learned are all fundamental parts of the scientific process.
• I wanted to bring my two-year-old son in the classroom, because many of the children in this school do not have fathers in their homes and I want to show them how being a father is part of being a man and that maturity includes nurturing roles. I want the boys in this school to see that a man can bond with his child and keep involved with his child's life, and I want to show the girls that not all men leave their families and that they don't have to expect this to happen to them. (Parent classroom participant)
• My daughter has become more protective of her own baby brother when it comes to his safety and more caring in her play time with her friends. . . . I think you should teach this program at all grade levels. It is essential, especially for families who do not have "stay-at-home" moms.
• I would like to see this program continue next year and expand on it for each grade level. I wish I had classes like this on parenting when I was young.
• Continue this program through high school to remind them how much work raising children is.

• The children have gained a better understanding of what a parent needs to do and the many decisions that have to be made for the baby to grow and learn. The other benefits of the ECP program for my students have included: increased critical thinking and problem solving skills; enhanced cooperative learning; and awareness of the importance of nurturing, meaning that combination of physical caretaking and prosocial behaviors, like comforting, praising, giving, sharing, limit-setting, cooperating, an d helping. (ECP teacher)
• The ECP program was taught in two classrooms in my school. In those classes, students started talking to one another instead of being physical. These were the only two classes in which I did not have to intervene physically in the year. This is significant. I want to see the ECP program in all my classrooms next year. (Principal)
• The Educating Children for Parenting program is flexible in its design, making it ideal for use as a thematic unit at any grade level. Topics in health, science, social studies, language arts and mathematics are all relevant to the curriculum. Additionally, this program taps into the affective domain, providing the appropriate model to prepare our children for their future roles as parents and productive members of society. By teaching and modeling nurturing skills, the program stresses anti-viol ence and the use of mediation in problem-solving. (Principal)
• The younger students began to actively demonstrate caring behaviors to one another. (Principal)
• The students became much more courteous and better able to share and wait their turns. They also learned to respect the opinions and answers of others. (Teacher)
• I feel the children have become more tolerant of individual differences. They work and play together, cooperating and problem-solving better than before. (Teacher)
• ECP created a buzz and excitement in our school age program. Daily the children talked about Emily (visiting baby) as if she were their own. The group talked more about how hard parenting is -- so many responsibilities. Emily seemed to draw out children who seemed shy or rarely participated in planned activities. . . . I also feel the program gave the teacher a lot of confidence and pride. (Principal)

• It scares us kids to death knowing that parents go through that much responsibility. Having a baby isn't all fun or a joke, it's real and they have to deal with it no matter what.
• I've learned having an infant is a big responsibility for both the parents. They always need something. You always have to watch them so they won't hurt themselves and they love experimenting on things.
• When you have a baby you must watch him or her at all times. If you are careless something can happen. If you are watching a baby you can't walk off and leave it him or her alone.
• I learned that it's hard to do things when there's a baby in your life.

Parents:

• The students get a realistic view of parenting. They see how much time, effort, money, etc. go into it. I participate because so many young girls have babies and are really not ready to be a good parent. It has made me feel good about my parenting skills. I would love to see this program in every school. I think it would help the young adults make some important decisions.
• The value of this program is facing the reality of having a baby and doing what is right. If you are on the bottom, get back on top, get back in school and finish.

Teachers:

• There has been an increased sensitivity to the needs of infants and others. There has been an increased understanding of dependency upon others for various needs. My students have been very willing to share their thoughts and feelings.
• I feel the students are more aware of each other as individuals. They appear to be more accepting of differences. Even those students who are generally quiet or are not participants seem to enjoy the class. My class got to observe a loving, caring mom who is really involved with her children's development.

About Parents Under Construction:
formerly Primary Prevention: Promoting Mental Health in the Next Generation

Students:

• I feel that this program should be taught to anyone who is going to have a child and adults who already have children that way they can know that children have feelings and they'll know that whatever you say and/or do to your child will affect you child for the rest of his or her life.
• I surely do think that the information that I learned will make me a better parent.
• I still don't think that there is any such thing as a perfect parent though, but what you taught me can make me a good parent.
• I think that I will be more prepared for rearing my child and going through the stages of his or her growing up.
• This information is really helpful. I'm already a mother of a 3 month old daughter and I now have ideas of how to raise her.
• I like that it teaches better ways to discipline because I was abused and I know how it feels.
• . . .it helped me to know what to do to get children to do what you want . . . in a nice way.
• It helped me realize what to do and what not to do to get children to do what you want.
• I'll think twice before hitting my child. I'll think of other alternatives.
• I liked it very much. It taught me better ways and other options to discipline my child other than yelling, hitting, or spanking.
• I like learning new ways other than spanking to get a child's attention. (I liked learning) the parent encourages her child even if the child did something bad.
• I used the information that I've learned now on my nieces.
• This program is very good for us because we learn how to be parents. And we can tell our parents about it.
• I think every class should have a program like this because it really helps people control themselves.
• The best part of the program was the discussion and the role plays.
• I like the activity sheets best. These give you the chance to apply your thoughts in certain situations.
• The best part was that (the presenter) listened to us and understood where we was coming from and related back to us.
• I liked participating in this program because they tell no put-downs.
• I learned how to communicate better.
• I really enjoyed it because we talked about realistic problems and tried to solve them.

• It had a great impact on my attitudes towards my students, even towards my daughter! The situations were clear and appropriate to each example. The participation in the classroom was magnificent. Their response was great. They were waiting for this program to be presented every week.
• The program is a wonderful, positive effort to reach the children at an age (kindergarten) when a real difference can be made.
• The students enjoyed the program and were concerned that they needed more training, information and guidance to have a positive effect on the outcome of their children's life.
• I wish I had this training before I raised my own children. . . . The positive discipline techniques, and also the high level questions that I asked the students made them think.
• Validated my knowledge and enhanced my positive thoughts and actions toward child rearing. The audio visuals were a strength of the curriculum.
• I was very impressed with the objective about relating the differences between punishment and discipline. The strengths were . . .role playing and discussion from the class activities after viewing the vignettes and the examples that were given.
• It is an excellent program that helps to improve parents and children's relationships.
• By exposing and learning how to cope with problems in rearing children, the next generation should be better parents.