Janet Ruth Falon
reprinted from LIFE SKILLS 101,
Creative Classroom Magazine
(Children's Television Workshop); January/February 1996

READY-TO- USE PARENTING ACTIVITIES & LESSONS TO USE WITH CHILDREN & TEENS

Teaching elementary-school students how to be good parents may sound premature or even inappropriate. After all, children need large doses of parenting themselves. But the skills involved in good parenting -- shaping values, negotiating conflict, communicating, knowing right from wrong, responsibility, patience, and teamwork -- make for successful friends, students, siblings, colleagues, and spouses. A caring human being does not equal a good parent. But learning and practicing these life skills helps to create effective, productive, nurturing, and accountable human beings who will have the tools for good parenting.

Educating Children for Parenting, a Philadelphia-based national program that trains teachers in a caring and nurturing curriculum for their students, teaches that parenting skills will serve students well not only now but throughout their lives. The goal is for nurturing children to become nurturing parents.

"Parenting is not an instinct," says director Jacquelynn Puriefoy-Brinkley." You have to learn the skills of parenting." The curriculum, which includes monthly visits of a parent and his or her baby to the classroom, filters into various educational disciplines.

If you can't arrange for a real baby to come to your classroom or prefer a less intrusive teaching tool, try a high-tech solution. Video Baby is a 30-minute videotape that shows two infants doing what they do best -- crawling, playing and creating havoc! It's a lighthearted, fun video that is effective in making clear the responsibilities of parenting.

SCIENCE
Children often turn to their parents to fix the boo-boos, minor cuts and bruises that don't hurt so much after consolation and a comforting kiss from Mom or Dad. But some injuries do need a little more than TLC. This is a good time to teach the basics of first aid, such as cleaning and bandaging minor injuries, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and how to assist someone who is choking. Students should also know how to contact their family doctor. They should know the doctor's name and how to reach the doctor or her answering service.

Nurturing pets
The idea of people needing a baby to love also holds true for people needing a young pet to love. Ask a veterinarian or a representative from you r local humane society to visit your classroom to discuss the number of kittens and puppies adopted versus the number of adult animals. If any of your students have pets, they may already understand that there are certain responsibilities that go along with pet ownership -- feeding, walking, changing litter boxes and cages, bathing.

Have your students prepare a set of questions to ask the animal expert about basic pet care. They can ask: How many times a day do I need to feed my pet? How often must he get medical checkups? Why does my cat sleep so much? Why do I have to keep my pet on a leash when I walk him? Do all dogs like the same food? How often must I bathe my pet? Do pets have emotions -- happiness, sadness, depression?

Correlate this discussion with the responsibilities of caring for a baby. Students will see that the questions they asked the veterinarian, such as those about feeding and sleep schedules, are also concerns when caring for a baby.

Carry the animal experience a step further: Put the names of various animals in a fishbowl and have each student choose one. Then have children work individually or in groups to research the parenting techniques of the animal. The students can later present a short report to the class. Have the class make a chart of all the animals' parenting skills and techniques, then compare each skill to human parenting skills. What are the similarities and the differences?

Nutritious meals
Providing food for your children is one of the most basic parenting skills. To introduce lessons about nutrition, collect a series of school-lunch menus. Ask students which meals they think are the most nutritious and why. Then explain to them the basic nutrition guidelines set by the FDA, such as eating four servings of fruits and vegetables each day. Explain that their parents put thought into preparing nutritious meals for the family, being sure to include fruits, vegetables, protein, and vitamins in their diet. Students will understand that planning and preparing meals is more than just choosing their favorite foods.

Facing challenges
Until they acquire language skills, babies learn about their world from their senses. Those with special needs rely more heavily on their senses. For example, a child who is deaf will rely more heavily on his sight and sense of touch, more so than a child who is not challenged by deafness. For older or advanced students, introduce the topic of basic genetics, focusing on heredity, the appearance of dominant or secondary traits, mutations, and birth defects. Also, explain the effects drugs, alcohol, and nicotine can have on an unborn child. Follow with an open discussion about the challenges to parents of a physically or mentally challenged child.

SOCIAL STUDIES
Parenting raises all sorts of gender issues: Is diapering, for instance, a mother or father's job? Should Mom or Dad teach a child how to throw a softball? And should girls as well as boys learn how to throw that softball?

Ask students to think of different gender-related family conflicts that can be debated in the classroom. Students may even suggest conflicts they've worked through at home, such as who takes out the garbage, who mows the lawn, who prepares the meals, who does the cleaning. Then have your students role-play the conflict to bring it to resolution. Older students can write editorials arguing for or against a particular stance. If the matter of who takes out the garbage is still unsettled, students can take home ideas discussed in class (teamwork and conflict resolution are parenting skills applied here).

Alternative family groups
In addition to the traditional mother-father-children family unit, there are many different types of families: single-parent families (since the 1950s, the share of American children living in mother-only families has quadrupled from 6 percent to 24 percent), blended families, multigenerational families, families with adopted and/or foster children, and families headed by gay or lesbian couples. Keep in mind that there are many other kinds of family units.

Some of these family units may at first seem difficult or awkward to explain, but nontraditional families are growing in number and should be acknowledged. Children will probably have questions and comments about families without you prompting them. And most likely there are students in your class who are part of alternative families. Just be sure to present the information in a way that young minds can process I. (Tough to Teach, also in this issue.)

Discuss different aspects of various family units. For example, a positive of multigenerational families might be having your grandparents close by or always having someone to talk to or play with. A con can be waiting in line for the bathroom or someone getting that last piece of cake before you do! Invite into your classroom representative speakers from different types of families to talk about the difficulties and rewards of their family units.

Divide your class into small groups. Have them write lists of the challenges their parents face and how the students help out. Send older students OT the library to research and then report on various family units in other cultures, such as kibbutzim in Israel, where children live in groups apart from their parents. To encourage deeper thought, have students personalize their reports by including comments on how they'd feel if they lived in these different family units.

Some students may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about discussing their own family units, so make participation in these activities voluntary. But help all students feel comfortable by stressing that all family units are special. Your "family" is who you care for and care about.

MATH
Parenting is an expensive proposition. Have students determine the basic costs of caring for a baby. They can refer to ads in local newspapers or track the costs of a baby at home. Ask students: How much do diapers cost? Are disposable or cloth diapers more economical? How many diapers will you need for a week? And what will that cost? How much does a jar of baby food cost? How many jars will you need to feed a baby for a month and what will be the cost?

Have the class discuss less costly alternatives, such as home cooking as opposed to dining out. Set up a basic weekly budget for taking care of a baby. Entries should include food, clothing, and day-care and baby-sitting costs.

ART
Visit a local art museum or borrow reproductions of paintings and drawings from a library or other resource center. Choose works that feature babies, small children, or scenes of family life. Use these as a starting point to inspire discussions about parenting. Conversation topics are unlimited, but creative triggers might include: Does this child look like he is being well cared for? How? How is this child/family similar to or different from you/your family? What activity might be going on outside of the action depicted here?

Ideally, the works you use will feature a spectrum of family configurations and cultures. After these discussions, explain the most accepted interpretation of the piece. Then teach your students about the artists' lives and what inspired their work. Finally, explain the techniques and media the artists used. Artists whose works depict children and family life include Varnette Honeywood, Pierre-Auguste Renoir, Mary Cassatt, Leroy Campbell, and Pierre Bonnard.

Collage of family love
Have each child create a poster-size collage that depicts family love. They can use old newspapers, magazines, and advertisements. Remind students that parental love is not limited to expressing affection. It also includes a variety of tasks and responsibilities, such as setting limits, disciplining, teaching, and listening.

Mount the collages on cardboard and frame with designs made of construction paper. They make terrific gifts for Mother's Day or Father's Day.

LANGUAGE ARTS
Parents need to be ready for just about anything, including medical emergencies. Students can role-play 911 emergency situations. Some students can play the role of the injured party; others can play the role of the one who seeks help. Act out the various situations to illustrate the range of emergencies that can occur.

Get the victim to be as specific as possible about his injuries. Explain vocabulary such as dull, sharp, throbbing, palpitating, faint, dizzy, and queasy. A precise description helps the doctor or technician make the most appropriate medical decisions.

Stress the importance of remaining calm and of speaking slowly and clearly to the 911 operator. Explain that the smoothness of this exchange will get help to the victim more quickly. Also address the importance of following directions. Discuss how crucial this is when being instructed on how to assist the victim until help arrives. Better yet, have a 911 emergency operator assist you in this exercise.

Fairy-tale lives
Use students' favorite stories and fairy tales to introduce a discussion of how fictitious parents behave. For example, you might use Charlotte's Web to talk about whether Mr. and Mrs. Arable were right or wrong in insisting that Fern sell Wilbur to her relatives on a farm. Have the children imagine how the story might have unfolded had the parents acted differently. Rewrite part of the story based on that change. Children can do this activity with "Cinderella" and other stories that include parents and families. They can also write this as a scene in a play and act it out.

Activities for young children who are just learning the ABC's include alphabetizing a baby's typical needs or writing a lullaby for a child who needs comforting. Children can also learn a lullaby from a foreign country.

Parents on parenting
Ask students to interview their parents about parenting. Students can ask: Did you feel prepared for parenting? What's your greatest challenge as a parent? What did you learn about parenting from your own parents? What do you as parents expect from your children?

Based on their interview notes, students can write a parenting profile. Then ask children to pair up and interview each other about the ups and downs of being children, and to describe their partner's responses in a short essay.

When children play house they often envision themselves with adorable, even-tempered infants, not realizing that infants can grow into demanding, complex, and sometimes difficult children who present parents with a tremendous number of challenges. (In fact, many teenage mothers, when asked why they became mothers, report some variation of "I need a baby to love me." Unfortunately, they don't realize much love and attention is required in return.?

The direct goal of a parenting-skills curriculum for elementary school students is not to prevent teen pregnancy or child abuse though it may have that effect. If a young child truly comprehends the enormous difficulties and responsibilities of parenting, he may be better able to rethink what might otherwise be impulsive, uninformed responses.

As you teach these skills, be sure to remind students that becoming a parent -- even for mature, responsible adults - isn't easy and isn't for everyone. Stress that some people make personal, individual decisions not to have children or to limit the size of their family. They have a right to make that choice. The values and tools children learning your classroom will serve them well in their dealings with all people -- and may even make them especially good teachers!

• Video Baby, produced by Quality Video of Minneapolis. For more information, write: 7399 Bush Lake Rd., Minneapolis, MN 55439; 612-893-0903.
• Childbirth Graphics provides tools and props for teaching parenting. Write: PO Box 21207, Waco, TX 76702-1207; 1-800-299-3366.
• The American Red Cross offers a baby-sitting course that teaches children how to care for other children. For information, contact your local chapter.
• Safe Sitter understands that children who may be too young for the responsibilities of baby-sitting end up doing just that with younger siblings. Classes, based at hospitals, include accident prevention and benign discipline. Call 1-800-255-4089.
  
  

FICTION

• Oh, Boy! Babies! by Alison Cragin Herzig and Jane Lawrence Malin (Little, Brown), is about 10 boys in an infant-care class who learn how to comfort and are for babies in order to become baby-sitters.
• Shadow and the Ready Time, by Patty Sheehan and Maeno (Advocacy Press), teaches lessons of parenting and family through he adventures of a wolf pup returned from captivity tot he wild.
• The Mommy Exchange, by Amy Hest (Four Winds), is a tale of two home-swapping friends (one an only child, the other with twin siblings) curious about the other's home life.

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